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ended up alone [Oct. 25th, 2012|10:30 pm]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]
[Current Music |Nine Days - End Up Alone | 3:57]

I had this crazy dream while I was asleep this morning. I was waiting in a car for my dad to return for some unknown reason. I was parked in a gravel lot with a bag of small items I had purchased. Soon, other people began stopping by and parking too. Some left, some didn't. At one point, I left the car for a very short time.. and someone had taken the back door and replaced with their own. The back door on the opposite side was now lime green. I looked around and saw the lime green car with a mismatched door as well. Then I turned around again.. and our car was gone completely. I flipped off this guy I suspected of being involved.. then said "screw it" in my head and began walking home. On the way. I noticed many cars in the nearby woods, so I chose to investigate. I first went into this house or something and looked out the dirty window. I noticed a car with a lime green door.. now upside down in a small river. That's when the guy I had flipped off popped his head up outside and looked at me. I left the house and soon approached the car. I was at least going to get the items I had purchased from the car. The man got in my way somewhat, especially when I attempted to take a photo with an overcomplicated phone. Attempted because it was new to me and I wasn't able to do so. The man seemed interested in the device and I kept it close.. until he disappeared. I got into the car and fetch the plastic bag with my purchases. I think I woke up soon after that..

Before that, I was thinking about this weird Mickey Mouse sentai Disney was attempting.. so I had a brief dream about 30 Rock being a team of Power Rangers.. since 30 Rock was on the TV when I woke up. Boring show. :|

I've felt crappy lately. Just don't feel like talking to anyone, even more than usual. And I think I have a shrink appointment tomorrow, so that's handy. *sarcasm* I'm also feeling very uncomfortable at times. I really wish I had another chair to sit in in my living room. I just have the one recliner and it's falling apart more every day, only partially due to the cat using it as a scratching post. I don't really have a working CD player anymore (except the PS3 & PC), so I've been downloading some of the old CDs that still packed up around here somewhere. I listened and thoughts of simpler and much better times came to mind. I'm getting too damn old.. and life just continues to get worse and worse no matter what I do. In just a few short months, I'll be the big 3-0.. and I'll still be coasting along with no reason to live. I'm so lonely.

And I thought the damn pills were actually working for once. I'm just feeling crappier than ever right now. And of course, not in the mood for the usual pick-me-up of media either. And with nothing else to do, that just makes me bored.. and also makes me realize even more what a useless life I live. I really should've been dead by now.. :(

See ya, I guess.